Raped In Service To Your Country
It’s said that there’s a little bit of Hitler in all of us. Jung’s shadow side. I don’t know about Hitler but Abu Ghraib is definitely inside me today. I’m the torturer. I’m beating and humiliating the male American soldiers who raped their military “sisters”. But my rage doesn’t stop there. It includes all the commandants who turned a blind eye. It includes the military decision-makers who gave the rapists honorable discharges. As one point of view goes: “These guys are in a pressure cooker over there. They’re really good men traumatized by the brutality they see and they’d never do it at home.” I don’t care. Do you hear me, I DON’T CARE. They did it. It was wrong. They don’t even have the so-called legitimate excuse that it’s the enemy: “he woulda killed me if I hadn’t killed him scenario.”
As reported by Nancy Gibbs for Time magazine this March 2010 Sexual Assaults on Women Soldiers: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell “The Pentagon’s latest figures show that nearly 3,000 women were sexually assaulted in fiscal year 2008, up 9% from the year before; among women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, the number rose 25%. When you look at the entire universe of female veterans, close to a third say they were victims of rape or assault while they were serving — twice the rate in the civilian population. [And]the problem is even worse than that. The Pentagon estimates that 80% to 90% of sexual assaults go unreported.”
I’ve heard some people say that women brought this on themselves by pushing for equality in society and in the military. I want to scream. When, oh when, will the mantra of blaming the victim end? Thirty+ years ago I was a volunteer with the Rape Crisis Council. I was the public face going out and making speeches. I heard the same thing over and over: they (woman who was raped) shouldn’t have been wearing “that.” Well with fatigues that argument’s moot. So now we’re back to location, location, location. She shouldn’t have been on that street, on that date, in that bar or, in this case, in that country. That’s forgetting that, like the men, they chose to serve our country. Irrelevant if you were/are against the war, we ought to support the troops; the individual men and women who are putting their lives on the line and, sadly, in the case of women, putting their sexual freedom on the line as well.
The advice of the military chain-of-command perpetuates the woman’s responsibility in her own rape “Don’t go to the latrine alone.” A woman “finally” goes to the powder room alone and she pays by being raped and sodomized while another USA male soldier stands guard. This is not what was meant by the buddy system or that your comrades will protect your back. The attacks are apparently commonplace enough that many women will not drink anything after 7pm because then they might have to go to the bathroom during the night, opening them up for sexual brutality.
So this is what a minimum of 1 out of 3 female soldiers could come home with:
- PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from the war itself
- PTSD from being raped or assaulted
- Inability to trust their comrades again
- Inability to trust the military again
- No expectation that the system will be fair and equitable
- Unwillingness to serve their country again
- Inability to trust that their employer will support them
- Fear of going to the bathroom after 7pm
- Scared to speak up against injustice because of being ostracized from the group
- Unwillingness to let their daughters, and perhaps their sons, sign up for military service
There was some hope back in 2007 voiced by Helen Benedict, Salon.com, in The private war of women soldiers “I am not claiming that sexual persecution is universal in the military, or that it is inevitable. Several soldiers I interviewed told me that if a commander won’t tolerate the mistreatment of women, it will not happen, and studies back this up.” But we know the numbers of sexual assault victims have grown since that article. It’s difficult to know if reporting has improved (there is now a DOD website for reporting assaults) or if actual cases have increased. But that’s not the discussion that needs to be held. Instead there needs to be a rallying cry with action that says: We don’t mistreat women nor tolerate their mistreatment under any circumstances. As an officer or as an enlisted man/woman I will respect and protect my comrades-in-arms regardless of their gender.
PS-I do know that my thoughts of violence against the rapists are as illogical and wrong as the pro-life fanatics who have killed doctors who perform abortions. I won’t be acting on them.
Cherry Woodburn
Wow, Cherry. Thank you so much for talking about this. The statistics on sexual assault against women in the military are disturbing, and that’s an understatement. Why do you think the media isn’t talking about this? Is rape too taboo to discus openly, the way you are?
I share your anger toward those to perpetrate, or turn a blind eye to these assaults and while I would never act on that anger either, I won’t apologize for feeling this way.
Thank you again for talking so openly about the abuse and mistreatment of the women who are so bravely serving our country.
Ashley,
Thank you for your heartfelt, honest response. I don’t know why the media doesn’t talk about this more. Donna had also asked me that. I can only conjecture:
–Rape stories within the military don’t sell magazines
–Women’s issues still don’t take a front seat
–Protecting the military
–Shame that our countrymen are doing this when we are in horror hearing about these kind of stories coming out of other countries.
I don’t know. Cherry
Powerful, disturbing, riveting, passionate, compelling, and wrenching. So many insights, so many revelations, so many tears from this one. Your voice is loud and clear. May it be heard widely.
Thanks Dawn, I too hope this one rings out loud and clear. Too serious a subject not to be front and center. Cherry
It’s a truly horrible situation. The only thing we can do is support women vets. They endure a lot and are not crucial in most military situations.
In the end, it comes down to commanders.
Such a disgusting situation – truly gross.
It is very disgusting Claudia. Shameful. Thanks for letting your voice on this be heard. Cherry
Makes you wonder why any woman would want to serve. Yet, thank God, many do. Proud. Brave. The best of the best.
As Claudia said above, leadership could change some of this…but soon enough?
Donna,
When you read about the horrors of war and then add in the atrocities that are being perpetrated in our own camps I don’t know why anyone volunteers. I think we’re in denial about what goes on in and out of the camps, partially because until you’re there it’s impossible to imagine such things.
Cherry
Shocking. I had no idea this was an issue. It never even occurred to me. The statistics are startling to say the least. Thank you for exposing this military “secret”.
Anita @ModelSupplies
Anita,
It is shocking and disheartening. Thanks for reading and commenting. Cherry
Cherry, This is so powerful. I’m so glad you have opened my eyes. It doesn’t surprise me. It does infuriate me though. Maybe if it were out in the open more there could be some preventative actions taken. Some education for the women and some kind of therapy for the men who have a tendency towards this kind of behavior. I’m sure there are plenty of men who join the military because they are violent by nature. Kudos for the women who are not afraid of putting themselves in the company of such characters. They should definitely have guards in the bathroom!
I guess my question would be in regards to how many of these men commit sexual assaults before and/or after their tour of duty ends. In other words, are the assaults situational?
It’s not a question of whether or not it’s justified, but understanding what leads to these actions seems to be the important point for me. Certainly, as Debbie (above) pointed out, there are certain types of people and socioeconomic classes that are drawn to the military. The military’s training also needs to be able to break you down and build you back up again so that you’re willing to do things such as take another’s life.
It seems odd to me that men are so traumatized by the events that their outlet is raping women. So when the women are so traumatized by the events, what do they do?
On a side note, is it really said that there’s a little bit of Hitler in all of us? I’ve never heard that before.
Aaron,
Last question first, yes, I’ve heard it said and read that there’s a bit of Hitler in all of us. It’s the point that we all have a dark side, evil potential within us. Frankly the soldiers who rape are a case in point. Just for the sake of discussion let’s say it is situational brought on by atrocities, stress and horrors of war. Then these men, prior to the war, would have said they were not capable of brutalizing and raping a woman but, in fact, they were. I know I’m gentle and kind but lurking inside me is a dark side that would come out if someone was hurting my kids; if I saw someone brutalizing a kid, a woman, a gay person etc. and I had the means to attack back, not sure where my fury would end.
Hitler persecuting the Jews and others, people built clubs to keep certain types of people out. Not the same but where is the line and when we feel threatened…
You provide an intellectual argument of finding out why. Commendable, but time consuming and complex and not getting the attacks stopped or reduced now. I don’t want this issue to just stay in people’s rational heads where it gets mired in debate, research, erudition. It’s a no-brainer to say that every commandant should take a zero-tolerance stance. It’s a no brainer, as Debbie suggested, to put guards at latrines. There are so many preventive things that can be done now but not if this remains an intellectual exercise. Action comes more from emotion and connecting with what’s happening. Put a face on the issue. Imagine it was me. Imagine it was your wife. Imagine it was you – powerless, scared, screaming, physically held down. Imagine your future protection or recourse had to wait for a research study as to why this guy did that to you. I need to stop, this topic definitely tanks me up.
I think it’s important to know that unless you have been the victim of a sexual assault, you will NEVER understand the emotions involved. Rage, violation, powerlessness, hate, embarrassment, shame….the list goes on. Those who have been taken advantage of seldom wonder “Why did this happen?” of “Why is this person this way?” That doesn’t matter at this point. What matters is that swift action is taken to prevent this from happening to the women who are willing to lay down their lives for our amazing country but who are continually violated by the very people they’ve entrusted with their physical safety.
There is no reason to say that we shouldn’t get into an intellectual debate about why this is happening. Why can’t we implement a zero tolerance policy and put guards at latrines AND figure out what the root cause is? The fact is that zero tolerance does not necessarily stop anything. It may help to cut back on these crimes, but we know that punishment is not always a deterrent for crime and even with guards opportunities can still arise. My point is that figuring out if this is situational and what we can do to help that situation is as important as taking immediate action. Because there is more to stopping crime of all kinds than jail and more police.
I also disagree that action needs to come from more emotion and connection. I actually find it mildly offensive that somewhere in my comment you read that I was opposed to action. I think I can be equally disgusted whether or not this was someone I know or not. I don’t believe that getting worked up emotionally will lead me to make better decisions about what should be done here. Since this is a blog about ideas and discussion, I simply assumed that some intellectual exercise was going on here. Once again, that doesn’t mean that we can’t also act.
Also, to Ashley, regardless of whether I am capable of truly understanding the emotions involved, I don’t think that the question of “why did this happen?” doesn’t matter at that point. Swift action might need to happen first, but saying the reasons don’t matter is, as I said above, limiting us to deal with what I would consider to be the effect (sexual assault) of a different cause (be it situational or otherwise). I would also add that I find that saying someone will “NEVER understand” essentially limits the discussion to those who have been victimized. I may never understand, but I also end up feeling marginalized by that comment. As if because I was not a victim of sexual assault my opinion has less value. You may not have intended it that way, but I just wanted to bring it to your attention.
Aaron, I do want this to be a discussion, so by default it is an intellectual forum. As usual you make good points. When I read your first comment it didn’t feel to me as if you had a visceral reaction to women being raped. Apparently I wanted or was looking for something along those lines that said, as you did in your second response, that you wanted to see both an intellectual debate and a zero-tolerance policy. I also know you can be disgusted without knowing the person, e.g., I don’t know any of the women in the military. And, as you said, emotion can sometimes get in the way of good decisions but it still seems to me that intellectual understanding alone doesn’t move people to rally behind a cause and take action. Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, Megan’s Law, national Center ofr Missing and Exploited Children are a few examples of good things that started because of the emotions of, in these cases, parents. How to put the groups together, get funding comes from intellect but the driver of the cause is very emotionally invested.
Your point to Ashley about the “NEVER understand” limiting the discussion is a good point. As she said she didn’t mean it that way, just as you didn’t mean swift action shouldn’t be take, nor did I mean this wasn’t a place for dialogue and differing opinions. I’ve already learned a lot. I’m thankful that the dialogue continued to stretch our thinking…and of course our feeling. love you Aaron.
I agree that intellectual understanding alone doesn’t rally people behind a cause. I find that kind of sad because that often means that to enact significant change, bad things need to happen. A destruction that leads to creation.
To me, the biggest problem with trying to invoke the emotional reaction as a rallying cry is that then you end up getting a bunch of people who already agree with you and those with dissenting opinions are less likely to speak up. I don’t think you’d have a lot of people dissenting in a discussion about stopping rape, but you might have a lot in the best way to go about it.
Anyway, that’s a little off the topic of your blog post. And while I’m off topic, I find your P.S. interesting, too. I think that many pro-life fanatics would say their argument is logical. A fetus is a life, taking life is wrong, zero-tolerance policy. Hand in hand, I think that your rage/thoughts of violence are not necessarily illogical — it is logical to desire to protect your fellow species when we are such social animals. Food for thought.
I love your spirit Ashley.Nicole. Cherry
Aaron, I certainly didn’t mean it that way. And you’re right that at some point we need to have a better understanding of why this is happening. I am curious about how military recruiting (i.e. who the military targets in recruitment efforts) correlates to the propensity toward violence among soldiers.
I think the point I wanted to make was that before we get into an intellectual debate on “why” we must first ensure the safety of the women who are serving. They don’t care why. They care about feeling secure in their service. They care that justice is served and that their attackers aren’t walking free with an “honorable discharge” free to do this again to another innocent victim.
Lastly, Cherry’s suggestion that putting a face (and therefore emotion) to this issue may simply be that as women, our actions are often times driven by emotion. Men and women typically just operate differently that way. We have been socialized to feel and connect on a deeper level. Don’t hold it against us!
Having been raised by Cherry (aka mom), I don’t think I can hold it against anyone!
My wife recently gave me a statistic that said that individuals who work in meat processing plants are more likely to commit assault by quite a bit. We do need to step in immediately to stop being from being attacked, but we also have to look at why this sort of thing does give rise to these impulses.
Also, I would like to re-raise the question: If it is the situation that leads to this (as a quote in the original post stated), how do women, who are in the same situation, react? What does the pressure cooker do to them?
Aaron,
I meant to answer that question but it got lost somewhere for me. And to add to it, I have no answer except I don’t know what the women do in their own pressure cooker. Perhaps they release in more stereotypically female ways, cry, talk about their feelings, journal. One of the stats I read was that %-wise more servicewomen become homeless than servicemen. Have no idea what that means or if some correlation to what we’re talking about. #justwantedtomention
Cherry, your passion definitely comes through! I felt like I was listening to you talking — I could clearly imagine the outrage and sorrow in your voice.
As unfortunate as it is, there seems to be very strong resentment of women serving in combat-oriented roles. Gender variations (anything other than male hetero, really) provides a new dynamic for unit cohesion. I would like to think that our military leaders shouldn’t have a problem finding ways to ensure cohesion even with gender complexities, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. In cases of sexual aggression in the military it’s important to emphasize the “aggression” — I would argue that the “sexual” doesn’t come into it at all. In these cases, rape is being used as a tool to communicate a soldier’s resentment, anger and contempt toward a fellow soldier. It’s all about violence and control and I think it feeds back strongly into another issue that I know you think about a lot, Cherry — the price that women pay for expressing traits that are EITHER feminine or masculine. I’ve heard male sailors express anger that the women serving along with them were too feminine and that they were too “butch”. Either one can be seen as threatening to a weak, insecure man under pressure.
I think that the control element also explains why so many others in the military are willing to brush off or overlook these crimes. Support for the acts may not be particularly widespread, but empathy for the viewpoint that allowed them is.
It’s also important to note that many men in the military are also the subject of sexual violence. The percentage is lower, but the actual number is higher. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/10/military-men-are-silent-victims-sexual-assault
In fact, I’ve heard of several very distressing situations in which a female CO sexually harassed a junior male in very public ways in order to be seen as more relatable to the other men in her unit. In both cases there were a notable lack of people who were willing to report the abuse.
Although it’s only a small step on a very long road, sexual violence has been regarded with increasing urgency by the military academies. A rape at the CGA in 2006 resulted in a court marshall and the issue is one that a cadet can expect to spend a tremendous amount of time discussing over the course of their education.
But of course the story can’t end there. We can’t wait two decades for these new cadets to replace older officers. There has to be an honest discussion within the military that allows male soldiers to express their fears and frustration in constructive, non-violent ways.
Thanks for such a heart-felt post. Print it and send it to your congressman!
Jasmine,
Thanks for an important contribution to this topic. As you say, rape is more about anger and aggression vs. an act of fulfilling a sexual desire. Three other important things:
1. For women, being raped is more personal, more of a violation of personal space and autonomy than being beaten-up. It is so much more denigrating, which I’m guessing is part of the attacker’s impetus. Because it is such a personal violation there are more long term affects for the woman.
2. I’m sure, as you say, that sometimes the sexual aggression is “caused” by a woman speaking up or being too feminine or not feminine enough. But isn’t that still a form of blaming the victim? Not on your part but on the perpetrator’s part: “they made me do it because they spoke up etc.” The man is still not taking responsibility for his actions nor his anger and set of feelings that he isn’t controlling.
I want it clear to other readers/commenters, in case you didn’t open the link, that the link and sexual violence referred to was a man raping another man. Horrific. And it can involve straight men. Again, as Jasmine pointed out, rape’s an act of violence.
The verbal sexual harassment by a woman officer to her subordinate is also wrong.
Jasmine, Thanks so much for the additional information and insight and yes I will send this to my congress person and urge others to as well.
Also, a related issue is that DOD doesn’t always get passing scores on helpfulness and transparency when victims do speak out. Here’s a petition that can be electronically signed or, for better impact, write your own version and send it to your congressmen! http://www.petitiononline.com/MSTFOIA1/petition.html
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This topic is heart wrenching and important, Cherry. Thank you for writing so passionately about an issue that needs more awareness.